the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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