Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
