thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
