would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
