just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
