I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
