Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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