I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
