i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
