I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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