Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
