Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize