You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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