i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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