all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
