I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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