My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
