i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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