Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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