I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
