Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
