It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
