yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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