I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
