I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
