you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
