My first STD was from a foam party
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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