they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
