worst night to have a conscience
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
