watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
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