JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
