Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
