i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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