can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
