There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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