This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
