does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
