Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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