I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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