I bet he comes in French.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
