her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
