I hope mine doesn't look like that
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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