Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
MIDGETS
????
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize