I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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