Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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