writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
