Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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