can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
