Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
