I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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