Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
