a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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