Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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