I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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