i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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