Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
