Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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