A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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